A broad, a blog: Busy week.

Annie and I worked at the soup kitchen on Friday. I don’t even know where to begin.

First of all, I had no idea who was homeless and who actually worked there, because some of the homeless people wore suits. Or maybe there were a few businessmen just in there tryin to get a free meal, who knows. But then I deduced that some of the homeless people worked there. Tricky.

Second of all, are there only homeless men in Scotland? Literally boys club.

Third of all, the food was sooo smelly, and people kept being like HOW COME YA HAVEN’T TRIED THE FOOD YET? YA TOO GOOD FOR THE HOMELESS FOOD WHITE GIRL? (Ok nobody said white girl but you get the point). Like, maybe because it looks like baby food and smells like foot stew. I’m ALLERGIC TO EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY MYSTERY MEAT AND APPLE SQUISH. Also, Kat. Ya fingernails are dirty. Keep ya hands out of the apple squish.

Here are some things I’m thinking about right now:

1) The Gary who teaches my Social Work class sounds like Mrs. Doubtfire. I don’t think I hate it, but sometimes it makes me wish I wasn’t in class and that I was watching Mrs. Doubtfire.

2) The other day this weird weirdo guy who looked like shriek told me: “sometimes I am just TOO ATTRACTIVE AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO DETER THE LADIES, so I ask the lady in question what her what her favorite color of marble is. Gets ‘em every time.” Like, ya look like shriek. Are you trying to tell me I am one of the ladies you’re trying to deter? Why have you shared this piece of information with me? My feelings are hurt. And my favorite color of marble is Cream Batik, thank you very much, see ya never.

3) I hate fish a lot, but sometimes I am in scenarios where I am rude if I refuse to eat your fish (ie, homeless shelter, also at people’s holiday parties and funerals and fish tasting exhibits). My natural go to would obviously be “no thank you I am allergic to fish, as well as mystery meat and apple squish in case you ere wondering,” only I like calamari. So my new go to is “no thank you I am allergic to fish, except those with tentacles. I can eat the tentacles.” So far nobody has questioned. So far I haven’t actually said that to anyone yet.

4) Lena has had some beers in her room next to her heater for like a week. Dem beers is skunked.

Also, we went on a bus tour of the highlands yesterday. Hypothetical: If you are on a highlands tour bus in Scotland and decide you have to barf and then the bus pulls over and you get out and go into the woods and barf, do you

a) Casually barf onto the ground like a normal person or

b) barf into a bag in the woods and then take the bag BACK TO THE BUS WITH YOU.

Simply a hypothetical. Get me off this bus, so help me God.

Here are some deep thoughts with Annie McNamara.

Do people live in Greenland?

Is reindeer just another name for ‘deer’?

Do you know anyone that’s ever been in an earthquake?

Is there a fire department everywhere?

Is a haggis an animal?

Who is Che Guevara?

The snack lady’s back. Save my seat.

Here's some stuff I saw this week:

Did somebody lose a shoe?

Just a friend we made at the supermarket. I should report you for indecent exposure, but I doubt anyone would do anything about it here considering the police department and all other authorities are FAKE.