Barcelona, land of the probably illegal amusement park rides and home of really disrespectful males

Things I saw in Espania

1)    A 20 person room at the Kabul Hostel (charming, eh?). No windows, air conditioner broken. Help. Now I know what prison feels like.

2)    The Picasso exhibit where I got yelled at, in Spanish, for taking a picture of a painting of an angry midget ballerina. Honestly, how could anyone put up a painting of an angry dancing midget and not expect people to photograph it? Preposterous. Also, Picasso was way ahead of his time, because I swear on my life there was a portrait of McLovin in there too.

3)    Two people shamelessly having coitus on the beach at approximately 4am. Consensual, animalistic, disgusting. I hope nobody put their towel down there the next day (or do I?)

4)    An Asian woman wearing a sars mask allowing her 3 year old daughter to crawl through a huge square filled with pigeons. Counterintuitive. Then, obviously, the little girl ate some pigeon poop. I wonder how she’s doing.

5)    A completely respectable looking man hold his pantless 4 year old daughter over a sewer grate in the middle of the most crowded street in Barcelona, while she peed. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

Things I didn’t see in Espania

1)   A bullfight

2)  Any Spanish women

3)  Enough Churros

Some things upset me while I was there, this is true. Like for example the fact that the three loudest snorlax’s probably in the entire country all happened to be sleeping in my room.

In addition, after having my butt unexpectedly grabbed with extreme vigor, and being asked in an amusement park by a random man whether “I spit or swallow” (this was actually funny because I couldn’t understand what he was saying so I asked him to repeat himself like 8 times to the point that I think he actually got kind of embarrassed) I have determined that Spanish men aren’t exactly the most classy bunch of men in the world. I think I would have slapped a whole lotta faces there if I didn’t think it might result in a knife in my side. Also, a six year old boy told me I was sexy, and I soon learned that these were the only English words he knew. Glad to see my mother tongue is really reaching the youth over there. Can I say I wasn’t flattered? No. No I can’t.

Food for thought: Why do all homeless people in Europe have dogs?