I guess I go here

So after little deliberation and one mild suggestion, I have decided to start an abroad blog. I'm abroad, I'm a broad, and here's abrog.  Because I know the world is extremely curious about the goings on in my life, I will treat you all to a brief list of the epic events which have transpired here thus far.

1)    Approx the third night in Edinburgh, the fire alarm goes off at 3am. As I awaken from my sweet slumber, I naturally assume that some a hole burned a bag of popcorn. I live on the top floor of my apartment building which has no elevator (part of the building’s archaic “charm”), but instead has a central, windowless concrete staircase, giving the place a nice parking garage-esque feel. As I saunter sleepily out of my apartment towards the staircase, I quickly notice that the entire place is filled with smoke and I can’t see three feet in front of me. Now I would naturally like to think that in a life in death situation, I, like any typical Gryffendor, would instinctively save all of my friends (or at least alert them) and possibly put the fire out with my own noble fire-fighting prowess. And yet, on this day, I found out the truth about myself: my subconscious inner psyche is a cowardly, self-serving bitch. Not only did I neglect to alert my roommates that our apartment did, in fact, appear to be on fire, I physically pushed people out of my way in my mad dash to save my own butt. In retrospect (especially after finding out that there had not in fact been a fire, but that someone set off a smoke bomb in my building), I am shocked and ashamed by my own fight or flight response. I am not a fighter. I’m a flighter.

2)  There is a huge pile of dog poop on the sidewalk outside of my building. It has been there for literally weeks now. Yesterday I put a piece of chocolate covered nougat next to the poop. I had a nice laugh.

3)  Not enough people here appreciate my fake Scottish accent. I find it quite impressive myself, but the townsfolk seem offended, generally.

4)  We went to Glasgow for a weekend and stayed in a smelly hostel. Literally to the lady in our room with the terrible BO: not only did you and your raunchy body odor stink up all of my possessions, you then had the AUDACITY to wake up at 6 am, MAKE A PHONE CALL WHILE EVERYONE ELSE WAS SLEEPING, and then clog the toilet and leave. You didn’t even say goodbye. Offensive.